I'LL TRY

CHAPTER : 3

Author : Kirtida Dhar.

Those dumb little words were echoing loudly inside her head, ‘I’ll try’, as if they were prodding each cell inside to explode. 

“You guys didn’t talk for 15 days! Are you mad or what? Not even 5 minutes a day.”

“I don’t want to be accused of his failure. Rather I feel bad sometimes because I am totally ignorant of his field”

“Who made the rule that you have to know about your man’s job to love him?” 

“To know him more, also we cannot find any topic to communicate anymore. You know what Tatty?  It is much easier when he’s around”

“Don’t you doubt him?”

“To be honest a tinge of thought came in my mind, I thought …..”  Lalita paused for a moment, “Come on Tatty it’s just 15 days. You just wait and watch. I am going to taunt him for these.”

“My poor Lols, don’t be so sweet. It doesn’t suit you.” Treshank didn’t like him from day 1. 

“This man has taken his life too seriously. I am telling you Lols. He can be poisonous.”

Nowadays their friendship has turned into few formal ‘hellos’. Everyone succumbed to their own lifestyle. But the change was so random that she couldn’t play along with it. 

Tatty a.k.a Treshank, her bosom friend, did the schooling together. Once in his toddler days, he shitted on his own pants and that was the history behind such a beautiful name.

Suddenly Lalita heard from downstairs.

 

“What do you mean? Why am I doing this you think?”

“Don’t shout at me. I said don’t shout”, Mom was trying to suppress her voice as much as possible.

 “You first answer me. Who gave you the right?” 

Mom stopped Papa and yelled “I have given 25 years of my life and you are boasting about rights…”

“Ahhh, not again”, Lalita shut the door of her room and plugged in earphones. Brawling with each other became their daily thing. Whenever her parents would fight, she felt as if she had been scattered into pieces. Away from this humdrum in her house, she used to aloof herself and meld in her little life. But it became hard to escape these fights since everybody had to be home in this lockdown. 

If you would imagine a little broken glass being smashed again, joining those pieces would become almost impossible. Exactly that happened to her ‘little’ life. 

   Less is the space, lesser the complications. Life became between her and her, left with the Hobson’s choice.

“Di, did you order anything?” Ron asked from downstairs, “Come and check”

While her phone beeped, it flashed ‘Receive the order’.

Aware of the tense situation downstairs, she ran curiously avoiding eye-contact with her parents. There was burgeoning tension in the kitchen area still her parents acted being busy. 

A bouquet of roses with a small note saying sorry appeared before the door. Part of her heart felt lighter seeing his efforts while she got disheartened that he forgot about her likes and dislikes.

“I can’t take it.” 

“But ma’am this is the address to deliver.”

She noted down an address and gave it back to the delivery boy, “Redeliver to this address.” and shut the door on his face.

When something happens to us we come across millions of emotions, she right now felt so disgusted, ‘Did he forgot everything about us?’

Her theory about roses was strange that they are alluring, prickly and complicated and she had complication with complications. She never appreciated being gifted rose as if she had been gifted that pain.

 A part of her wanted to forgive him while a part of her couldn’t forget that ruthless tone of saying ‘I am busy’.

 Love is like a function it’s viable only when it is a one to one relation. If the other person’s co-domain doesn’t have any repercussion against all the actions of your domain, then it is general relation, not love. 

One  year ago……..

Lalita: ‘Stop calling me’

Anirban: ‘Come fast. I am waiting’

Few minutes later..

Anirban: ‘Comeeeeeeeeee’

Lalita: ‘The class isn’t over yet’

 Buzzzz buzzzz buzz

“Lalita, pickup the call. Who has been calling you so many times?”

“Mom is calling me Ma’am”

“Then pick it up”

“Umm yes Ma’am”

“I am waiting Piku. Make any excuse na.”

 “It will take 20 minutes more MOM”,  Lalita said in a suppressed voice and hung up. 

After six months of joining the job, this is the first winter break that he managed to get. Both were equally excited about the break. After the class she came outside and called him. But he didn’t pick up. 

Lalita: ‘plz plz pick up. I m srry’

Anirban: ‘u don’t hv to meet me. Bye’ 

Lalita ringed again and he picked up this time. 

“I am sorry Ani but class was going on. I couldn’t leave. Where are you now?”

“Turn back”

“You bloody scared me? You were here only.”

“Aww look at you. Someone was crying.”

“NO NO NO. I was not crying”

“I was buying dinner for us.”

“What do you mean by us?”

“Because you are coming to my place.”

“Have you gone mad? Mom will be worrying at home.”

“Okay bye.”

“Okay okay I will go but I have to return quickly.”

They took an auto to his place. Ani’s parents are in a holiday and therefore were not at home. Lalita’s hands were trembling as she was scared. Being at boyfriend’s house at 9 was suicidal that also when you have Hitler parents.          

“But what is there for dinner?”

“Your favorite Chinese and chocolate cake with a little daisy on it, just the way you like.”

“You remembered my favorites”

“Obviously”

“Mom will kick me out if she comes to know about this”

 “That will be great. You will come and stay with me for the rest of the holiday.”

“What will happen after the holiday?”

“You will come with me to Bangalore.”

“Yeah, keep dreaming”

 Kolkata doesn’t face extreme cold during winter.  Rather weather remains quite gentle.

Their auto was running quite fast.  Cold breeze was blowing carrying the scent of love, indicating the presence of his closeness. Anirban came close to her face and fixed her hairs which became almost uncontrollable due to the wind and said, “Calm down. I will drop you home. It’s just that I missed you so much.” 

Loved by the person the way you want and to be in his arms is the best feeling in this world. She never wanted this moment to pass by. But the best moments of our life whoosh by within a flick of moment.   

“You are becoming my bad habit. Don’t love me so much. I will disturb you more then.”

“I want to get disturbed Piku”

When they reached home, Anirban lifted her up in his arms to the drawing room and kissed her forehead erasing those tensed lines on it. 

“Will you please stop panicking for a moment and give me attention? I am back after six months. Aren’t you happy?”

“I am sorry. You know how much I am scared about Mom”, Lalita hugged him tightly just the way they do. She wrapped him from the waist and he covered her eyes with his hand. When he used to cover her eyes in this way, she felt so safe and secured.

Buzz buzz buzz….

“Shit. Call from home”

She picked up the call and Ron started saying, “Di, where are you?”  He was breathing heavily.

“What happened Ron? And what is happening out there? Are they fighting again?”

“I am scared. Come back quickly. Papa is shouting at Mom since you are not at home on time.”

“Yeah yeah I am coming.”

Her hands started shaking and started panicking. Seeing her like this Anirban cupped her face tightly in his hands and kissed on her lips.

“I am here. Calm down. Everything will be fine.”

Lalita hugged him more tightly this time, “Nothing will be fine. Nothing.”

“Okay come I will drop you home.”

“I am sorry about the dinner”

“Don’t worry about that.”

 Anirban dropped her home in his bike.

While seeing off, his phone rang.

“Is that Nishi calling you? You guys still talk?”

“Nothing like that Piku.” While Ani saw Lalita’s father in the door, “Your father.”

She turned around quickly and froze there.

But he was there with her that night when she had to face her parents. He had explained everything clearly to them. Now he had been sending bouquets to impress her, diluting the past.

‘Is he really trying or acting that he is trying?’

"Sometimes you couldn’t face the sadness of being forgotten until you felt the comfort of being remembered again."

- The Last Summer. 

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